Gleethal Weapon
by polarbear117
Summary: A full-fledged Alternate Universe...spawned off of reviews of NYPD GLEE...basically, NYPD Glee style Puckleberry other pairings ensemble Chapter 4: The story of the Beauty and the Beast
1. Chapter 1

_Ok, I published another story entitled NYPD Glee, which is basically a future AU about Rachel and Puck as Detectives in NY. The reviews I received were positive, but all were surprised by the fact that the events of Glee did occur. Hence, I was inspired to create a completely different universe, though this one will most likely consist of one-shots of different lengths, some might be related, but I actually don't think so…_

_This is basically an intro-chapter, because hey, it is quarter to two here in the Netherlands and I am pretty beat, so it'll be short n sweet!_

_Anyways, read and review, as always_

_Btw., I apologize for any possible grammar or orthographical errors, I am not a native English speaker_

_Disclaimer: None of the Characters are mine. _

When Lieutenant Will Shuester strode through the halls of the NYPD Police Plaza One, he couldn't help but look around himself and think about all the people he worked with. Over the past years, his days had taken on a sort of routine. Of course, every week there was at least one day when one of his people was involved in a car chase, some explosion or any other ridiculous nonsense that somehow only ended up in his unit. But usually, barring any strange occurrences, his day looked like this:

After entering the building through the parking garage elevators, his walk to his office took him usually first for a quick chat to Emma's office. Emma Pillsbury had started a few years ago as the department shrink, and Will had found himself taking an instant liking to the shy red-head. She had helped him through his problems at home with Terrie and the divorce, after Terrie had been discovered trying to sell drugs to one of his undercover-cops.

Over the past few weeks he had tried to work up the courage to ask Emma out, but was still waiting. It was a bit too soon, seeing as she had just broken up with Ken Tanaka, a very well-connected Defense Attorney. Will might not have been a Nobel-prize winning scientist, or even a teacher, but even he knew that you do not ask out the ex-fiancée of a guy who regularly defends the Mafia, without waiting at least a few months.

After his chat, he usually dropped of his coat and briefcase in his office and strolled back out to pick up a cup of coffee. Thanks to his best detectives' solving the murder of the owner of a wealthy coffee-company, the NYPD had been provided with new, state-of-the-art coffee machines, meaning that all of them usually drank their coffee in the bullpen.

On his trip to the break room, he would usually bump into Dr. Artie Abrams, the resident ME. Artie had fallen down the stairs when he was a teenager and was since confined to a wheelchair. It still did not stop him from doing the job he loved though. Artie was by far the most competent Doctor Will had seen so far, and he was always willing to stitch up the variety of different wounds his guys received during their job. Every morning around the same time he would venture upstairs for a nice cup of coffee, plus some actual human interaction, not centered on dead people.

Bumping into Artie usually meant bumping into either Brittany or Tina as well. Brittany Miles had been hired a few years ago as an ME's assistant and had taken to the job quite literally. Poor Dr. Abrams often had trouble to even get out of the Morgue without Brittany assisting him one way or the other. The good Doctor however was never put out or short-tempered, though, as her intentions were always more than good. Plus, she was extremely competent in her work, even though some had voiced their doubts about whether she had the capacities to work in the lab. She did, Artie himself claimed he had never had a better assistant, which pleased Brittany to no end.

The other option was to see Tina Cohen-Chang with Artie. The shy lab-tech was a forensics-genius and had quite often single-handedly solved cases where their usual methods and deductive skills had failed spectacularly. The young Asian woman had a slightly gothic look and was very shy. Recently she had begun to talk more, nonetheless was she still a mystery for many.

She and Artie seemed to have forged a tight friendship. Even though Will knew that most likely it was more than friendship, there was absolutely no way he would start questioning that issue if he didn't have to. Tina was always good for a pleasant conversation, and oddly enough always knew what was going on in the building. It took him a few months to figure out that Tina was basically the entire IT-support department for his unit and hence always heard things from everywhere.

Normally, when he left Tina and Artie to their own devices after about half an hour, the bullpen would slowly begin to fill. Will always heard the strangely synchronized chuckles of Detectives Matt Rutherford and Mike Chang. They usually sat opposite each other, but laughed at the same time. An alternative was that they had entire conversations with only half sentences, which left the untrained ear completely confused.

Both had graduated from the Academy together, but Rutherford had been transferred to Baltimore to a Gang Unit, while Chang had been sent to LA. A few years later, Rutherford had nearly been killed when his cover had been blown and Chang had managed to nearly cause an international incident with Mexico. Needless to say, both needed to get out.

Will had at that point been urgently looking for a new detective, as Rhyerson had been fired for Gross Misconduct and his resulting promotion had left him one man short. Both had applied, and by shifting around some money, Will had been able to take on both.

The first day they came in to find themselves partnered with each other had been the last day Will had had no grey hairs whatsoever. Together they had almost started two gang-wars, offended seven dignitaries and incurred an incredible amount of damages in forms of cars, motor bikes, really, any type of transportation. Still, they also held the third-highest solving rate of the city. If there was anything going on in the gang-scene, these two would know about it.

After chuckling at their antics, Will would usually retire to his office to do some paperwork. Even though he still went out from time to time, more often than not he was actually filling out forms and writing letters. After a few hours of solid work, he would venture out again to refill his coffee cup.

Usually around this time, Matt and Mike had left to work on whatever case they were working on and Will would be left with preparing to fill out damage-claim and expense-forms.

On the way back, he would usually enjoy a few minutes of observing two of his other detectives.

Finn Hudson and Kurt Hummel made by far the oddest pair of detectives he had ever seen, yet somehow, both brought a sort of quality with them that made them incredibly successful. Finn was, apart from being a good detective, incredibly tall. If a suspect ever got too rough, giving them a look at his hulking figure would usually be enough to calm the person down. The fact that Finn was too nice to actually ever hit a suspect without provocation was a fact wisely kept between the police officers. His simple, sweet persona and adorable smile just made witnesses want to tell Finn the truth, just to not disappoint him. By the time they realized they were confessing to a cop, it was often too late.

Will himself couldn't quite remember what it was that made him partner Finn Hudson's two meters of pure goodness with Kurt Hummel's 1,60 of bitchiness. He had tried to find a more PC-version, but there simply was no other word to describe Kurt. He could be very sweet, of course, nice too, to the right people, and he was loyal to a fault. But if the guy couldn't get his hands on hand-lotion at all times of the day, or someone criticized his T-Zone, it was a small nuclear explosion.

Kurt was very intelligent, countering some of Finn's naivety, and possessed a rapier-sharp wit. At times, Will had pitied some suspects, as Hummel calmly tore them down and ripped their self-confidence to shreds. He was sort of the Secret weapon when it came to Upper East-side trophy wives. Ten minutes with Kurt, and the wanton hussies (Emma's description, not his), were actually wishing for a small, dirty apartment somewhere in the Bronx, just to get out of the room.

Still, they worked. So far, they had cracked pretty much every case given to them. Plus, through Kurt's best friend Mercedes Jones, they had pretty good eyes and ears, as she did a lot of pro-bono work and could somehow charm any of her clients into giving up the infos they wanted.

In addition, Will enjoyed talking to Finn when it came to matters of the heart. Finn had been dating Quinn Fabray for some time now, it had only gotten more serious when the young lawyer had switched sides and left Sylvester, Tanaka and Ben-Israel to get away from her father and become Assistant DA for New York.

Will was still not quite sure what to make of her, she seemed very nice, but sometimes she was a bit too ruthless for his taste. Still, Finn seemed to like her, he had even heard the P-word mentioned a few times over the last few months.

After chatting with Kurt and Finn for a few minutes to get updates on their cases, his normal pattern foresaw him returning to his paperwork until around 2 p.m. At that point, Emma would come over and regale him with a few amusing stories from her consults, everything kept unanimously, of course. He would trade her a few stories from when he was still a young green officer, running around the city.

Even though they normally only planned one-hour lunches, invariably it would all end at 2:30 pm, when Satan in the form of Sue Sylvester would burst into his office, usually shouting offensive remarks and insulting him, his hair, his people and every possible minority and majority that existed on the planet.

After about 15 minutes of loud arguing, it would boil down to Sue claiming a client of hers had been submitted to Police Brutality, usually by Puckerman or Hudson, and him arguing the opposite. After one more insult, she would storm back out and could just feel the stress headache in his head building and building.

The thing about Sue is, as much as he would just tell her to get lost; he can't because, well, she is pretty much the most influential woman in this town. He is pretty scared when he thinks about the things Sue must know about her clients. She defends everything, Mafia Bosses from two opposing clans on the same day, international spies, serial killers, fraud, everything.

But her lack of both moral standards and public decency are not the worst thing about her, no, the worst thing is Sue is pretty much like a low-pressure weather phenomenon. When she comes in, the mood drops rapidly, when she leaves it rises. Only problem, she always leaves something behind, most often one of her two partners, Ken Tanaka or Jacob Ben-Israel.

A few months ago, Ken could be found hovering outside Emma's office, chatting politely with her. Back then, the guy was tolerable. Since Emma broke it off, he has gone from tolerable to biggest jerk on the planet. Four times he had to be escorted out by Uniforms, because he refused to leave when both Emma and Will told him to. Lately it has become more and more drastic.

Tanaka, for all his tenacious flirting with Emma, is only the lesser of two evils. The bigger one comes in form of Jacob Ben-Israel. Jacob was in College together with one of his best detectives, Rachel Berry. Somehow, when Rachel ended up going on a blind date with him, he did not understand that when she left disgusted, throwing her drink in his face after only fifteen minutes, did not mean she thought he was the love of her life.

Since then he had doggedly pursued her to the point of stalking. Rachel had filed more than one restraining order against him, but the powerful firm that is Tanaka, Sylvester and Ben-Israel (his father), somehow manages to make the paperwork disappear on the court dates.

Now, Will knew that Rachel could take care of herself, fairly well in fact. Over the last few months she had been working out with Puckerman regularly, and just last week she had easily flipped Finn, who was easily two feet taller than her. So, the danger of Ben-Israel was not so much the fact that he was bordering on obsessed with his detective, he knew she could handle herself.

The problem lay with the fact that her partner, while most certainly knowing that, tended to forget it in the heat of the moment. If Ben-Israel made lewd comments Noah would usually be standing right behind him in a second, sending him a glare that frightened even hardened Mob-hit men. His impressive physique were certainly also very helpful. Sadly enough, Ben – Israel seemed to take a thrill out of how far he could push Noah. Quite often he would move as if to touch Rachel, to which Noah would lose all reason and prepare to tear the smaller, smarmy man to pieces.

So, nearly every second or third day, he would be forced to go outside at 4 pm and bellow "PUCKERMAN! BERRY! MY OFFICE!" at the top of his lungs, just to make sure he didn't lose one half of his best team to an assault-charge. Strangely enough, even though Jacob's visits occurred only every few days, he still had to shout every day.

The answer to that phenomenon was fairly simple. Even though Berry and Puckerman were his best team, they were also the ones most responsible for his constant dreams of Caribbean Islands and early retirement.

Both had excellent qualities. Berry had graduated as Valedictorian from Harvard Law and had joined the Academy straight after. She was polite and well-spoken, yet more than able to hold herself in a debate on any issue, without losing her cool. When it came to the upper-class elite of New York, those who fancied themselves above the mere mortals, nobody was more suited to investigate than Rachel Berry.

Still, she was also by far the most stubborn individual he had ever met. Rachel had once nearly caused a war, by continuously investigating a high-powered Washington-Official until she had enough to convict him of espionage for the Chinese. Only intervention from the DOD had stopped the situation from leading to an international crisis.

As a "reward", she had been transferred to New York, a decidedly less politically charged environment. In addition, she was a stickler for the rule-book, which, while making it easier for him with regards to paperwork, was also a source of tension between her and her partner.

Puckerman, in contrast, was her complete opposite. Having grown up in the Bronx, he had learned early that he had to pick sides. Luckily for Will, he chose to become a cop, after his Dad had been killed by local Gangsters.

Through hard work he had put himself through College, before attending the Academy on a Scholarship. Berry and he had been in the same class and had both graduated with top marks, with exactly the same grades (she still claimed he cheated from time to time).

Since then, he had worked his way up the ranks, mostly in Narcotics and Organized Crime, until joining Homicide a few years ago. Puckerman's four big problems however, had stopped him from climbing the ranks as quickly as he could.

First, He was even more stubborn than Rachel, which inevitably led to legendary arguments, often leading to them not speaking for a few days (the last one had only ended after Rachel had gotten shot and Puck had spent three days straight next to her bed until she woke up).

Second was his issue with authority. Will had learned easily, pushing Noah was like pushing a thorn-bush. Pointless, painful, and in the end, entirely ineffective. The best way to get him to comply with an order, was to simply tell Rachel what to do. Despite their fights, somehow these two seemed to be the only ones who could make the other do something against their will.

Noah had stopped Rachel from getting herself killed by forbidding her from going after the Russian Mob against explicit orders. She had prevented him from getting fired countless of times by talking him down and had therefore saved a lot of lives of criminals (sometimes she joked she should just let him go, it would make her job so much easier).

Somehow, they balanced each other out. While Rachel stuck to the rule-book, Noah pretty much ripped it apart within two minutes of beginning an investigation. The two together were both, scarily effective, yet somehow still always within the margin of legality.

Third, Noah Puckerman was to women what catnip is to cats. His effect on women could certainly be useful, for instance if he wanted some sort of legal documentation. Somehow, Quinn's colleague Santana Lopez was always available in the middle of the night when Puck called.

However, it also led to trouble. More than once a random woman would show up and start ranting and raving about how he broke her heart. More often than not, they would find him remarkably absent (he had a knack for being exactly not where he should be), and more often than not they would then begin throwing office supplies, and, sadly, more often than not it would be Will of Finn who would have duck them, as Finn often stupidly tried to defend his best friend, or Will tried to kick the women out, as respectfully as possible.

In addition, countless of times he had to hear Rachel pretending to be Puck's girlfriend/wife/significant other on the phone. The first time that happened, he had been drinking coffee and had nearly choked to death, when Rachel calmly answered with "Hello, this is Rachel Puckerman, my husband Noah can't come to his phone right now…" Now, it barely fazed him anymore. Lately though, he had noticed that the calls had become less and less. Noah had seemed to mellow out, he was less aggressive, and he even seemed to become a sort-of nice guy. Again, Will did not want to rock the boat by starting to look deeper at the connection between the two partners, for now he was just content to let them take care of each other and take one load off his shoulders.

Usually, by the time he was done chewing out Rachel and Noah for whatever asinine thing Noah had pulled them into (he also always seemed to be able to pull them back out, somehow), it was nearing five o'clock, and he would prepare to go home, after another hour of paperwork. Lately though, he had taken to staying longer, as home was largely nothing but empty nowadays.

And hence, every evening, first Finn and Kurt would say bye, Finn to go home to Quinn, Kurt to meet Mercedes and/or some hot new guy for Cosmos, after that Matt and Mike would shout out various forms of sleep well, Brittany would say goodnight next, followed by Tina and Artie (so ignoring that one) and lastly Rachel and Puck, who he would hear arguing all the way to the elevator (lately it had dimmed down to a gentle bickering). Then, sometime around eight, he would lean back, pour himself a glass of scotch, and Emma would appear in his doorway, convincing him to come out for a bite to eat before dropping him off at home.

No, all in all Will Shuester loved his normal routine days. They provided him with a certain sense of stability, which he certainly needed after his messy divorce last year.

He was just thinking about which restaurant to take Emma to on their daily non-date (soon that would be official), when he heard a half-yell from outside.

"Noah Puckerman, I will not give in to your ridiculous demands and I will most certainly not declare you to be the most badass detective in New York City!" Rachel's sarcasm was hard to overhear. Will smiled to himself. Just a regular day. However, the next sentence pretty much blew that to hell.

"Noah Puckerman! Uncuff me this instant!" Briefly shaking his head, Will stood up.

The fourth problem of Noah Puckerman? He had a penchant for practical jokes.

"PUCKERMAN!!!"

_Love it, hate it? I don't know, I kinda like it =) It's right now just the template, as I said. Any prompts for oneshots? PB_


	2. Chapter 2

_So, here goes nothing ^^_

_JClayton asked for Figgins, so I figured, sure why not!_

_Disclaimer: The characters do not belong to me._

"SHUESTER!"

Will flinched. Whenever Captain Figgins reached decibel – levels that travelled through the entire building, it usually meant someone, most often him, was in trouble.

As he trotted through the bullpen, Mike and Matt gave him twin thumbs up. Finn grinned at him, not quite understanding why he looked troubled, while Kurt shot him a sympathetic smirk. Tina shook her head at Finn, and Puck and Rachel even stopped arguing / flirting long enough for Puck to shoot him a gleeful smirk and Rachel to look at him as though someone had killed her puppy.

Heaving a sigh, he poked his head into his Cap's office.

"You wanted to see me, Sir?"

Figgins frowned at him.

"Yes, I did. Ms. Sylvester here just informed me that one of your detectives assaulted one of her colleagues. . ." He trailed off, pinning Shuester with a piercing glare.

"Yes, your uneducated, uncouth and incompetent manwhore of a Neanderthal assaulted Ben-Israel!"

The scathing voice of Sue Sylvester sent chills down his spine.

Taking a calming breath, Will turned to the blonde attorney.

"Sue, I am sure, Puckerman was not actually intending to harm Mr. Ben-Israel. As I understood it, your attorney behaved inappropriately towards Detective Berry and Detective Puckerman saw it as his duty to step in and protect his partner."

"He was carrying a baseball bat and a knuckle-ring!" She spat at him. "And Berry was dressed like a slut, she was basically begging for it! You can be happy we are not suing your ass for everything you have! The only thing stopping us from that is the fact that I could probably buy your entire possessions with a fraction of this month's paycheck!"

Will found himself breathing deeply and calmly. "They were undercover, Sue, they single-handedly busted one of the biggest trafficking rings out there!"

She scoffed. "Listen here, buddy. This behavior is simply unacceptable. I have put up with your band of merry knuckle-draggers and pathetic useless excuses for what you call officers for years! I have not seen such a display of brute force since my time as prison warden in Iran during the 1980s! It is beyond time that something is to be done about this blatant display of daily incompetence you call police work! I find that almost as offensive as calling whatever died on your head a hairstyle!" Sue spat.

"Ms. Sylvester, that is enough!" Figgins' voice finally entered the heated discussion.

" We will deal with this matter internally. Now, if I remember correctly, Ben-Israel has had altercations with Detective Berry in the past. I believe it to be in the best interest of everyone if both sides take care of this matter internally!" He gave them both a significant look.

With a huff, the Defense Attorney turned.

"This is not over, Shuester. I'm going to buy you a kitten, and you will fall in love with that kitten, and one night I will come into your house and punch you in the face and take that kitten back!" Will just stared after her confused.

"That was certainly. . . something else. . ."

The tired sigh on Figgins' face made him turn.

"Sit down, Shue." It struck Will that his Cap looked old. Figgins had been his superior since his Academy Graduation. The curly-haired Lieutenant felt that Figgins was his mentor, an institution in and of itself.

"What's the matter, Cap?"

"She's not all wrong, Shue."  
"What?!?! Captain, I can assure you that –"  
"I know Puckerman didn't assault Ben-Israel. If you ask me, the guy is a creep. But nonetheless, we cannot afford to anger people who are as powerful in this city as Sue Sylvester! And it is not only Puckerman! Last week I got an angry call from the Head of the City Zoo! Would you mind explaining why he is billing the department for a Chinese Waterduck?!?! All I got from him is that Rutherford and Chang somehow managed to confiscate it, and after they returned it, it was scared of water and unable to swim!"

Will winced. He remembered that particular incident, especially the distraught phone call he received from Matt at about 3 in the morning, asking him whether he could direct them to the nearest vet, or, if closer, a convenience store that stocked garden hose.

"Well, that one actually –"

"I am not done, William! Look at this! This is a form to requisition a new pair of handcuffs! I have had not one, but four of these in the last two weeks, all from Puckerman! What on earth is he doing with them?!?!" Will felt it prudent to not expand on the "escape-training" Noah had forced on Rachel. It consisted mainly of him cuffing her unexpectedly to various objects around the city and/or precinct at any time of the day, and her, more often than not, breaking them in various forms.

"And here! Fifteen complaints against Hummel, when he made the entire group of candidates of a local beauty-pagent cry by criticizing each and every outfit! They were eight year old girls, William! Eight year olds!" Will shrugged apologetically.

"Kurt was . . . stressed. . ." The reason for the stress lay with Finn's ignorance to his partner's feelings. Mentioning in passing that Kurt looked tired was like telling Puck he looked good in Pink. The poor guy was a mess for the better part of a week.

"But those aren't even the worst! I have had the entire staff of the South Street Seaport calling me, enraged, telling me that one of your Detectives had drawn a gun in the middle of a crowd! A gun! Someone could have gotten hurt, William! You need to control your people!" That last one was actually sort of Will's fault. Following Emma's advice, he had switched the coffee in the precinct to Decaf, not knowing that Rachel's only solace of the day was the break room coffee. Without it, Noah's random demand of Houdini-acts had quickly taken its toll, and led to her actually shooting the cuffs with which she had been chained to a pipe in the Seaport Mall. Running after him, Rachel had merely forgotten to holster it, but her wild hair, red face and the stream of profanities from her mouth did nothing to convince people of her harmlessness.

"Will, give me one good reason why I shouldn't just transfer half your unit out of here, and fire the rest on the spot!" Figgins looked mad enough to actually go through with it.

"Uuuh. . ." Will's cluelessness was interrupted by cheers coming from the bullpen. Shooting a look at Will which pretty much says _what-the-hell-have-they-done-now_, Figgins got up and strode out of his office.

In the middle of the room, Kurt and Finn are just leading a grumbly looking giant of a man down towards the interrogation rooms. His arms are cuffed behind his back, both covered in tattoos. The head is shaved, the ratty leather vest he's wearing proudly proclaims his allegiance to one of the local gangs.

Figgins raises his eyebrows.

"Isn't that. . ."

"Seamus McMillan, local leader of the Irish Mob, and caught in flagranti offering young girls to yours truly!" Kurt is merrily frolicking through the room, wearing light make-up, a tight pair of dark black jeans and a pink, tight silk shirt with no sleeves. The sunglasses, a tight dark shawl and and a small-chained golden necklace complete the outfit. He looks, in short, gayer than a Flamingo in a Musical, to quote Puck's opinion of the outfit. Rachel had proceeded to chastise him straight after.

Finn is simply grinning happily, his "Pimp"-outfit looking ridiculously out of place on the tall detective.

Will and Figgins calmly look on as Kurt does a little victory dance and pets McMillan's head, all the while happily recounting the highlights of the arrest, including Finn's NFL-worthy tackle to bring down their target.

With a nod, Figgins turns to Will.

"Nevermind."


	3. Chapter 3

_Thanks for the reviews guys! Much appreciated as always!_

_Hope Figgins is to your liking ^^ I've realized writing Sue is incredibly hard! Something inside me seems to have pity, which is really not what you should be feeling when trying to connect with your inner satan^^_

_Disclaimer: Glee does not belong to me, but is property of Fox_

_How it all began. . ._

"Hey, sexy!" Detective 1st Grade Rachel Barbara Berry wondered for a moment which poor woman had just been subjected to the misogynistic impulses of males in Uniform. With a sigh, expressing her sympathies with her entire fellow females, she went back to trying to locate her new supervisor's office.

"Hey, my dark-eyed beauty" a deep, smooth timbre rumbled just below her ear. She could understand lesser women getting weak-kneed, but NOT HER. Drawing a calming breath, she turned around, ready to chew whatever snotty-nosed officer felt the need to impress her with his medals . . .

She found herself face to face with a. god. He was tall, with a chiseled jaw, full lips and dark, intense green eyes. A slim-fitting white dress-shirt emphasized his muscles, and his crossed arms are bulging and straining against his sleeves. Briefly she imagines what it would feel like having them wrapped around herself. . .

"So, can I help you, sexy?" That had pretty much the same effect as a cold shower.

"Yes. You can step back and refrain from referring to me as an adjective." Getting her voice to sound cold and unaffected is more of a battle than she thought.

Obviously, Adonis here hadn't anticipated her rejection. Score one for the female race! Her mind cheers. With a slightly confused look, he looked down at her. Then his frown turned into a semi-charming leer.

"Playin' hard to get, I like it. . ."he chuckles.

"More like playing unattainable, jackass. Now, would you mind pointing the way to your Lieutenant's office?" She smiles sweetly at him.

The guy takes it as an invitation to grin suggestively.

"An office? So old-fashioned, how 'bout that broom-closet over there?" He jerks his head.

_He can't honestly think . . .WHAT?!?!?!_ Rachel feels her anger starting to boil over.

"Who do you think you are? And more importantly who do you think I am?!?!"

"Come on, baby! You new or something? That's the way it works, we bust your asses, you keep us informed about stuff on the street!" He gives her a confident wink, obviously meant to be some kind of sign.

Having had her fill with this clown, she turned around, intent on asking someone else for directions. She was now officially two minutes late, and if there was one thing she hated, it was being late to anything official.

Rachel took two steps, before she felt a hand clasp itself around her upper arm.  
"Come on, babe, actin's nice 'n fine, but I got things to do, places to be!"

She had definitely reached her limit. Remembering everything Jared, her last marine-boyfriend, had taught her, she decided to take action. Dropping her handbag, she reached up, grabbed his hand and easily flipped him over her shoulder. Using her opponent's temporary confusion, she quickly turned him around, pressing a foot in his back and sharply applying pressure to his shoulder and the first digit of his thumb.

Her other hand reached to her waist and she pulled her gun.

"Now, I do not care who on earth you think you are, or who you think I am, but I can assure you, I will not go anywhere or do anything with you! Have I made myself clear?!?!"

By now the entire bullpen was looking at them, the tall guy looked confused, while the blonde he waschatting with is highly amused. A black woman and a small, stylish looking fellow were looking positively gleeful. An Asian and a black man, both wearing jumpsuits and sunglasses seemed unsurprised.

"I see you're as good as your file says." A friendly voice came from behind her.

Rachel dropped the arm she was still holding and turned around. Reholstering her gun, she came face to face with a medium-built man with curly hair and a friendly smile.

He held out a hand.

"Rachel Berry, I presume. I'm Lieutenant Will Schuester, but just call me Will or Shue, everyone else does."

Will gave her another warm smile, before looking on the ground behind her.

"Puck, what on earth were you thinking?!?!" Instead of looking enraged, Will's face showed a certain exasperation. The man called Puck rose from the floor, rubbing his shoulder with a chagrined grimace.

"Sorry, Shue. . .I figured she was my contact, y'know? Working girl, gets busted by the cops, we act as though we get it on, she gives me info and gets outta here?" He looked as though it's an everyday occurrence.

"Brilliant plan, moron! Have you actually any idea what your informant looks like?!?" Rachel's eyes flashed angrily at him.

"Well, I figured I'd spot her from her clothes, had no idea two people dressed as though they do the horizontal for some cash would walk in here!" he snapped back angrily, trying to ignore the now glaring fault in his plan.

"How dare you! Do you have no manners whatsoever?!?! First you sexually harass me, then you physically assault me, and now you have the nerve to insult my taste in clothing?!?!"

"If the shoe fits!?!"

"Why, you uncouth, ignorant, misogynistic, chauvinist, egotistical, rude, uneducated Neanderthal!!!"

"Why, you stuck-up, arrogant, annoying, men-hating, pseudo-emancipated frigid bitch!"

It was dead-silent, the tension was palpable and even Finn had caught on to the fact that something bad was about to happen. Will's timid voice cut through the quiet.

"Detective Noah Puckerman, this is Detective Rachel Berry from Washington P.D. . . .she's your new Partner. . ."

Quinn Fabray calmly stepped off the elevator at One Police Plaza. The heels of her black Designer Leather pumps made a click with every step she took.

She liked that click. It gave her a certain mysterious quality and a foreshadowing air. A bit like in a Horror movie, when you know something important is about to happen, because you hear the music.

Quinn shook her head with a frown. That was the last time Finn would ever convince her to watch a movie of his choice. Likening herself to a serial killer (it had been 'The Shining' this time), was a certain sign of losing one's mind, or worse, becoming Sue Sylvester. She cringed. Her blonde ex-boss was as frightening as ever. Only recently had she shouted at Santana in some weird language, claiming their accusations were as ridiculous as the safety precautions taken by Chechnyan terrorists when guarding their prisoners (nobody ever asked where Sue got her references from, that woman had more skeletons in her closet than a kleptomanic undertaker).

Quinn was pulled out of her musings by Kurt, her boyfriend's (soon to be fiancé), partner.

"Hey Kurt, what's –" that was as far as she got before he shushed her.

Confused, she followed his gaze.

"What's ---"

"Shhh! Liz and Richard are at it again!" Now she was completely lost. Helplessly she shot a look to Mercedes, Kurt's slightly less confusing best friend and fellow attorney at law.

Mercedes obliged, without taking her eyes off the scene before her.

"Liz Taylor and Richard Burton. . .he means Puck and Rachel over there. He's convinced they've got something going on!" She stage-whispered. Following their gazes, Quinn noticed her lover's best friend pacing behind the chair of his partner, apparently talking to her. His face showed distress, while Rachel calmly continued reading, commenting ever so often.

Quinn felt as though she should chastise Mercedes and Kurt for their gossiping. Puck was a friend, despite his sometimes suggestive comments, which were never serious, and Rachel, since her transfer a few months ago, had become one of her closest confidants. They had bonded over their mutual experiences of making a career in a male-dominated profession.

Just as she opened her mouth, Kurt pulled a small, square electronic device out of a drawer and plugged in earplugs.

"Kurt! What's that?!?!"

He huffed.  
"Those two have been driving me insane! The sexual tension here is as rife as between Roger and Mimi!" Another look at Mercedes, who mouthed 'Broadway' as clarification.

"So, I followed my duty as a good police man, and have decided to solve this mystery!" After some fiddling, he managed to turn on the gadget on his desk. Suddenly, Quinn could hear the tinny voice of Puck from one of the headphones.

"You planted a bug?!?!" Quinn exclaimed.  
"SSHHHHHH!!!" the two admonished her.

Puck and Rachel had briefly looked over to see what the commotion was about, before he resumed pacing and she continued to ignore him largely.

"Sorry! But a bug? How'd you even. . .never mind!" Quinn was a lawyer, and a good one. She knew exactly that as long as she didn't ask, she wouldn't get answers and she wouldn't be liable.

Looking around and still seeing her boyfriend nowhere near, she made a split second decision.

"Scoot over!" she hissed.

All three of them stuck their heads together, listening intently to the conversation taking place across the room.

"----even like her, you know? I mean, sure, we had a nice evening, but it was just one night! And now she's talkin' bout Vermont and shit!" Puck ranted. All four listeners heaved a sigh. His female-friendly ways were well-known and had caused more than once trouble for all around.

"And now I just don't know what to do. I mean, I've told her the whole it's me, not you speech n shit. But she don't listen! I broke up with her five times! FIVE TIMES! Hell, I've spent more time breaking up with this girl than I did actually bangin' her!"

"Noah!" Rachel's reply sounded rehearsed automatically, whenever he gets too crass. Pretty much every five minutes.

"It's the truth! Her fucking husband's getting all freaked out, she's tellin' me! I mean, seriously, I didn't know she was married, dammit! And now she's acting as though it's my problem!"

"Well, you participated in extra-marital intercourse with her, hence I believe it is your problem, at least partly."

"Huh? What?"

A sigh was heard.  
"You 'banged' her, as her husband I would be fairly annoyed by that."

"Well, yeah, there's that. . .he's an Army-Colonel, y'know?" Something about his voice was different.

They saw Rachel and Noah briefly share a look.

"I know. You did not know she was married when you slept with her."

"Of course!" he sounds and looks offended.

"I never woulda' touched her!"

"I know."

". . .and now she won't stop callin' me!" As if on cue, his ringtone could be heard throughout the bullpen.

"Michael Jackson, huh?"

"Berry, can we focus on my problem here?"

"Which one, the fact that your married one-night stand has gotten clingy or that you have the most atrocious taste in music." Kurt looked angry.

"Hey!" he exclaimed, startling a messenger walking by. Mercedes and Quinn shushed him quickly.

"First off, there's a reason he's a legend. And second, WHAT DO I DO! Come on, Berry, you seem to be good at getting out of relationships!" Their audience winced.

"Why, thank you for pointing out my talent for not having a love-life, Noah." She replies dryly.

"Come on, it's true, that Jay-guy you were dating? From the ADAs Office? You wanted to end it, two hours later you were single again!"

"His name was Thomas, and I caught him cheating with a client. There was no need to 'end it'. In addition, that was not a relationship, only a few casual dates."

"Exactly! This one's not even a few casual dates! So, how do I get rid of her? I've changed my number, like, five times already!"

"Well, seeing as it was just one brief interlude, simply tell her you have met someone else."

A brief silence came across on the airwaves, and all three looked up to see Puck study his shoes guiltily.

Apparently Rachel did too.

"Noah. . .tell me it was only one brief interlude…?"

"It was . . ." he looks down. "in between four others. . ."

"Noah! That poor woman! You probably broke her heart!"

His cocky grin was evident in his voice.

"Aaaaw, Berry, it's nice to know you think I'm such a catch!"

She huffed.

"I'm quite sure she caught more than she wanted from you. Have you suggested STD-testing?"

"I'm perfectly healthy, Berry, thanks for worrying about me."  
"It's not you I'm worried about, jackass, it's poor Artie, he's the one who has to examine your body after you got killed by an enraged Colonel."

_Because I'm baaaaaad, I'm baaaaaaaad. . ._rung out again.

"Oh my fucking god! It's her again! Come on Berry, you gotta help me out! Apple's driving me bananas!"

"Her name's Apple?" Rachel asked incredulously.

"Uuh, yeah?"

"Seriously Noah, do you have a vitamin-deficiency? Didn't you date that waitress called Melon a few weeks ago?"

"Her name was Cherry, and I said she had great Melons."  
"My bad, so sorry." She deadpanned.

It is quiet for a few seconds.

"Hey, Berries are fruits too, you know?" His voice took on a smoky, more husky quality. Quickly all three raised their heads. Noah had leaned against the desk next to Rachel and bent down. His nose was nearly touching her nose, as she had looked up at his comment and found herself held captive by his gaze. For a few seconds they seemed transfixed. Their hidden audience was too. All three were staring intently across the room, eyes focused on the will-they-won't-they moment in front of them.

"Hey guys!" Finn's cheerful voice jerked them out of their voyeuristic daze.

With a yelp, Kurt swiped his receiver back into the drawer.

Quinn squeaked and jumped, while Mercedes shot up from her chair, knocking a thick ring-binder on the floor.

The crash broke whatever spell Rachel and Puck were under, causing them both to look up.

"Everything ok?"

"Finn, you scared me!" Quinn turned and gave her boyfriend her best smile. With a nod to Kurt, she grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the elevator

"Let's go to lunch!"

Looking after his clueless but happy partner, Kurt bent down to pick up the folder.

He didn't see Rachel and Puck walking past him on their way to the breakroom, but he heard them nonetheless.

"Trust me Noah,you're one fruit salad I'm staying away from!"

Will Schuester hated Tuesday. Not every Tuesday, just this particular one. A pipe in his apartment had broken, leaving him soaked and without a place to stay, except the office. So, at 4 in the morning, after having been awoken by an ice-cold unplanned shower for his entire bedroom, he had dragged himself into his office and crashed on the couch, trying to sleep for a few, blissful hours.

He had managed a total of two, before he was woken up again by a phone-call from his wife's lawyer. Terri had been busted selling drugs to Rachel during one of their undercover ops, resulting in an ugly divorce. There hadn't really been enough to hold her on, though, so Will was still forced to deal with her on a regular basis. This morning her lawyer had called, demanding to have another reconciliation-meeting this week. It was nothing new, every few weeks she would stall the whole divorce-process by trying to get back together with him, nevermind that he had no feelings left for her except maybe resentment.

So, he had barely slept, his clothes were wrinkly (which he hated), his hair was sticking up at even odder angles than usual, and then he had managed to spill jam from his breakfast donut all over his shirt, leaving him in T-shirt and Jeans for the first time in his career (it had been his last dress shirt and all his suits had been drenched in water). He felt underdressed in comparison to his detectives, even Puck wore a tie (which had only started after Rachel had become his partner).

So, at eight o'clock, he figured he'd go out and sneak a quick cup of coffee, hoping to be able to convince his secretary Susie Pepper to grab coffee for him for the rest of the day once she came in.

Will should have known that nothing would go right today.

He had just made it into the hallway, when he heard a familiar Michael-Jackson ringtone. Quickly he sat down in one of the chairs, just managing to hide his face behind one of the left-over newspapers, as he heard Rachel and Puck walk towards the bullpen. They stopped only a few meters away from him, not recognizing him due to his unusual attire and hidden face.

"Come on, Rach, please answer it! I've got my hands full!"

"Oh, alright!" She huffed.

Michael was abruptly cut off.

"This is Rachel Puckerman - - yes, this is Noah's phone, who's this - - I'm his wife - - -what kind of - - -no, we don't wear our rings, work-reasons - - - who" Rachel snapped the phone close.

"She hung up on me, can you imagine? And you Mister! You've got some explaining to do!"

Will's blood pressure had risen dramatically over the last few seconds. Sure, he had seen Rachel and Puck look at each other, had seen the sexually charged banter, but marriage??? Without telling him?!?!?! He quickly rose, dropping the paper behind him.

"I believe I agree with her! BOTH OF YOU! MY OFFICE! NOW!!!"

He marched, not checking to see if they were following.

By the time they stood before him and he was behind his desk, his crappy and wet morning had met with the recent revelation and had given Will a distinctly strokey appearance. . .

"WOULD YOU MIND EXPLAINING THIS TO ME?!?!?!"

Puck and Rachel shared a confused look. Seeing as Will usually responded less. . . angry when Rachel spoke to him, she began.

"Uuuh, Sir---" Rachel's usually calming powers seemed to be broken.

"DON'T EVEN SPEAK TO ME!!! WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING!!!"

"Shue---" Puck decided to try his luck.

"I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT PUCKERMAN!!! YOU WEREN'T THINKING!!! THAT'S WHAT YOU WERE!!! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA OF THE RAMIFICATIONS YOUR ACTIONS WILL HAVE?!?! DO YOU EVEN HAVE A GODDAMN INCLING OF HOW BAD THIS IS GOING TO LOOK FOR THE DEPARTMENT?!?! YOUR CAREERS WILL BE OVER!!!"

"Uuuuuh. . .Lieuten---"

"I SAID I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT! YOUR BEHAVIOUR IS INEXCUSABLE! YOU SHOULD HAVE COME TO ME THE FIRST TIME SOMETHING HAPPENED!!! I WOULD HAVE HELPED YOU!!! BUT NO; YOU WENT BEHIND MY BACK AND DECIDED TO JUST DO IT ANYWAYS!!!"

"Sir, we're not really . . ."

"WHAT?!?!?! YOU ARE WHAT NOT REALLY?!?!?! YOU KNOW WHAT? I DON'T REALLY CARE!!! THIS ENTIRE MORNING HAS BEEN HORRIBLE!!! AND YOU WITH YOUR SUPREME INCOMPETENCE ARE JUST THE GODDAMN CHERRY ON TOP! YOU TWO HAVE GIVEN ME NOTHING BUT HEADACHES! EVER SINCE YOU STARTED COMPLAINTS HAVE TRIPLED!!! RACHEL, YOU WITH YOUR FRIGGING WASHINGTON-ATTITUDE HAVE PISSED OFF MORE PEOPLE THAN I CAN COUNT AND TO BE HONEST I AM SERIOUSLY WONDERING WHETHER THE TROUBLE IS WORTH THE BENEFITS; WHICH RIGHT NOW I CAN'T EVEN THINK OF! AND YOU! WELL, I AM PRETTY SURE THIS ENTIRE MESS IS YOUR FAULT! !!"

"SHUESTER!!!" Puck roared at the top of his lungs. He was fine with Shuester tearing into him, he did that every other day. But Rachel was usually never at the receiving end of his wrath. Plus, he didn't really give a rat's ass what Shuester said about his competencies, he knew he was the shit! Rachel however, had a pretty shaky self-confidence under that thick skin of hers, and he could see her starting to look hurt. And if there was one thing Puck hated more than Rachel all up in his business, it was someone else all up in hers.

Puck's shout finally got through to Will.

"WHAT?!?!?"

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!?!?!"

"YOUR MARRIAGE, DAMMIT!!!!"

"Huh?" Puck was more than confused. Will was still breathing hard.

"Your Marriage, Puckerman! Puckermans! Whatever the hell you go by now!"

Rachel seemed just as confused.

"But. . .we're not married. . ."  
"But your phone. . .and you. . .and. . ." Will just dropped into his chair.

Rachel frowned.

"Noah couldn't keep it in his pants, once again, and Ms Floozy decided to try and stick around. So I intervened, acted as his wife and pretty effectively ended his affair. Now, if that is all, I would like to return to being more trouble than I'm worth." With a solemn nod, she turned on her heel and walked out of Will's office.

Puck looked after her with raised eyebrows. Usually Rachel kept the sarcasm out of chats with the Boss, she liked Schuester, said he reminded her of her old Spanish teacher.

"Don't worry 'bout her, Shue, I'll talk to her. Sorry 'bout the whole mess." With a sheepish grin and a shrug Puck strolled out of his supervisor's office.

With a sigh, Will let his head fall onto the desk. This day was quite possibly be the worst he had ever had. On top of everything else he had now managed to piss off his best detective and the only person in the precinct who had some semblance of control over Puckerman.

"Uuh, Lieutenant Schuester?" came an uncertain voice from the door. Looking up through tired eyes, Will straightened. A young woman with red hair and brown doe-eyes was carefully considering him from the doorway and appeared hesitant to enter.

"Yes? How can I help you Mrs. . ." the red-head smiled.

"Pillsbury, Dr Emma Pillsbury. Captain Figgins said I should come down here. . .?" She looked even more uncertain than before.

"I'm sorry, but, who are you?" He tried not to sound too angry, he honestly tried, but somehow she still flinched at his question.

"I – I'm the new department Psychologist?" She phrased it as a question and seemed to doubt it even herself .

Feeling like a grade-a jerk, Will got up and forced himself to smile.

"Ah, I'm sorry. Lieutenant Will Schuester. I've had a bit of a rough morning, I apologize, normally I'm a lot nicer."

"I assume your morning relates to the young dark-haired woman currently wasting a truly impressive vocabulary on a young gentleman who clearly couldn't care less. . ." She gave him a soft smile.

He chuckled.

"Yes, that would be correct. A bit of a misunderstanding, I have to go out and make some apologies with Donuts later. Or some of that herbal Tea Rachel seems to drink." He became aware of his rambling.

"Why don't I show you to your office."

"That would be wonderful, thank you."

"Here, let me take that." Still trying to make up for his rudeness, Will took the box from her arms.

_Huh . . .No ring. . ._he noticed. _maybe this morning isn't all that bad._

"**WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKIN'!!!" **The sheer anger and volume of the shout caused almost the entire bullpen to flinch and fall silent.

"**I WAS THINKING THAT MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, I SHOULD DO MY JOB! YOU KNOW, THE ONE I'M GETTING PAID TO DO?" **

A collective murmur ran through the listeners of the argument. At least two times per week did Noah Puckerman shout at his partner, traffic cops, his partner, perps, Will, his partner, Finn and Kurt, his partner or Mike and Matt. Sometimes even Rachel got a little of his wrath. But usually, letting him rant and rave a few minutes without anybody engaging him was enough to cool him down. Whenever Rachel actually answered however, that's when all of a sudden collecting witness-statements on the other side of town or a quick trip down to flirty Laureen in the Evidence Locker seemed a lot more attractive (which Laureen was not. . . REALLY not. . . but who is after 50 years of Donut-diet and no sport?).

The doors were pushed open violently, flapping like laundry in the wind. Rachel stormed in, which was actually a change. Usually Rachel's storming could only be observed from the back. Sadly, all of a sudden her colleagues realized why her storm-OUTS were not all that bad. Her storm-Ins though. . .

Rachel wore her typical undercover-outfit, which had most of the male officers in the room drooling. A tight red leather-mini, with knee –high leather boots, a corsage and more make-up than a clown-college on graduation had her looking her part as a hooker quite well. Noah, in his typical gang-banger outfit, low-slung baggies, a white wife-beater and more jewelry than Mr T in his golden days, had posed as her pimp/boyfriend. The only thing wrong with the picture were the scratches in Noah's face, the band-aid on Rachel's head and the sling holding her right arm in place. Upon closer inspection, a slight limp was barely noticeable in Puck's gait and Rachel moved carefully as if to protect her mid-section.

"**DAMMIT RACHEL! **Your stupidity almost got us both killed!"

"Funny enough I also managed to save a seventeen year old in the process. And hey! Call me old-fashioned, but I happen a few scratches are worth saving a life!"

By now they were pretty much shouting at each other in the middle of the precinct.

"**A FEW FUCKING SCRATCHES?!?!?! YOU HAVE BUSTED RIBS; ONE HELL OF A CONCUSSION AND A DISLOCATED SHOULDER! I NEARLY BROKE MY ANKLE!!! THAT'S MORE THAN A FEW FUCKING SCRATCHES! PLUS YOU NEARLY BLEW THE GODDAMN CASE! IF YOU WANNA GO AND RISK YOUR LIFE; HELL, KNOCK YOURSELF OUT! BUT NEXT TIME YOU DO SOMETHING THAT STUPID YOU BETTER FUCKING GET YOURSELF OUT OF THERE!!!"**

"**IF I RECALL CORRECTLY; MY ACTIONS SECURED AS A CONVICTION! THAT GIRL WAS GONNA BE BLOWN TO BITS BECAUSE OF CHECHIN AND I WASN'T GOING TO LET THAT HAPPEN! PROTECT AND SERVE RING A BELL?!?! AND NOBODY ASKED YOU TO COME AFTER ME, I CERTAINLY DIDN'T!!!"**

"**WELL, IF YOU KNOW EVERYTHING BETTER AND I'M SO FUCKING USELESS, MAYBE I WON'T!!! MAYBE YOU'LL GET YOURSELF BLOWN TO BITS AND I CAN FINALLY HAVE A PARTNER WHO DOESN'T SCREW UP AS MUCH AS YOU DO!!!"**

A collective gasp could be heard. Suddenly all the fight seemed to leave Rachel. With a tired wave, she turned away from Puck.

"Fine. If I'm such a screw-up, I won't bother you anymore. I'll talk to Will on Monday." She turned and quickly walked out into the hallway towards the ladies' room. With a swear, Puck turned and limped after her as fast as he could, nearly bowling over Mercedes in the process.

"What's up with Beauty and the Beast?" She asked Matt, seeing his tightly drawn face and feeling the tension in the room.

"Puck called Rachel a screw-up and pretty much told her she's not worth risking his life for. Bad thing coming from the one person you're supposed to be able to rely on." Finn answered instead, surprising those around him with his insights.

"Especially given her history." Quinn mumbled, unaware that she had spoken aloud.

"What history?!?" Mercedes nearly panted with the idea of new gossip. She liked Rachel just fine, the woman was competent enough, fair, and one hell of a saint putting up with Puckerman as long as she had. But life as an attorney as much in the public eye as her, pretty much ruled you out for anything even remotely scandalous, so she had to live vicariously through gossip.

Quinn looked around guiltily.

"I really can't tell you, Mercy. . ." she was about to say, when Sally Rowland, a new beat-cop, butted in.

"She was betrayed by her partner, during an undercover case with the Russian Mob. . .Nearly died. . . my cousin is working Washington PD, the story was pretty big up there. . ." Sally trailed off, finally noticing the death-glare the ADA gave her.

Mercedes for her part just looked angry.  
"What the hell? We should totally cut that guy!" All the Ivy-League diplomas in the world couldn't stop Mercedes Jones from reverting back to her high-school vocab in times of intense emotions.

"Good luck with that, he's serving Life upstate. . ." Quinn fixed her with a stern look. "Mercedes, you will not breath a word of what you just heard to anyone. Not your colleagues, not Rachel, not Puck and most certainly not Kurt. Are we clear?" The petite blonde lawyer suddenly seemed six feet tall.

"Alright, alright, I won't tell." Their discussion was tabled when a very flustered and flushed Kurt stumbled over to their table in a daze.

"Kurt, what's up with you?" Mercedes asked her best friend.

Kurt's eyes were unseeing, as his mind was still on the scene he had just witnessed.

_Flashback to 5 minutes ago_

_Kurt was just about to leave the stall of the ladies' room (seriously, the filth in the guy's bathroom was just too much sometimes), when the door outside was thrown open and he heard sobbing. Recognizing the voice distorted by tears and hiccups as Rachel's, he was about to step out and comfort her, when the outside door was nearly thrown of its hinges. _

"_Rach, god, I'm sorry, I. . ." Kurt had never heard Puck's voice sounding quite so broken. _

"_W- w- what for? Apparently I'm not worth risking your life for, so why stop from humiliating me in front of all my colleagues and declaring me incompetent?!?!" the pain and anger in her words were almost enough to make Kurt Hummel face the six-foot muscle-packed unpredictable force of nature that was Noah Puckerman. Almost. _

"_God, Rach. You know I didn't mean all that Baby!" Baby, huh, Kurt thought stunned. Risking a glimpse through the slits between the door and its frame, he saw Rachel facing the mirror, gripping the faucet tightly. Noah was standing behind her, his hands on her shoulders. _

"_You wouldn't have said it if you did not mean it, Noah. If you want to end this partnership, we can go to Will on Monday. I have been disappointed and let down by a partner once, I would hate to have to go through that pain again in a few months, just because I ignored your wishes." Her voice had become clinical and Kurt saw the hurt look flash across Noah's face, before it was replaced by a deep anger. He grabbed her shoulder and turned her around, boxing her in between himself and the sink using his arms. _

"_Fuck, Rachel! You know I'm nothing like that fuckhead! Do you make me angry? Yes! Do you annoy me sometimes? Hell yes! Do you want to make me light myself on fire? Sure, from time to time! Do I want anyone else out there with me? Hell no!" He spoke to her in an emphatic whisper, moving ever closer. "Rach, you're the best damn thing that happened to me. You know that! I was angry because I realized that you should ditch me while you could and find a better partner, I am pissed because you risked your ass and I was too slow on the uptake to be right there with you! I am angry as fuck that you had to get hurt and I couldn't do anything to protect you!" Impulsively he slammed a fist into the mirror, shattering it into millions of tiny pieces. He was breathing heavily. _

_Rachel for her part had barely flinched when he smashed his fist into the wall. She gently leaned against his back, taking his hand into her good one. _

"_You're bleeding." She said softly, holding his right hand. Wordlessly she grabbed some paper towels, motioning for him to take a seat on the counter. Easily he hopped up, his face still a mask of grief, guilt and anger. _

_Kurt felt like an intruder, but he knew leaving now would do more harm than good. Swallowing thickly, he went back to looking at them. He was there already, what was he supposed to do?_

_He watched as Rachel gently cleaned Puck's bleeding knuckles, brushing a soft kiss across them every so often. The intimacy of the gesture was not lost on their observer. Kurt saw how the anger on Puck's face slowly melted under Rachel's ministrations, leaving only raw anguish. After a few minutes of silent cleaning, Rachel deemed his hand clean and carefully started dabbing at the now wet knuckles, drying off the water and blood mixture. _

_Suddenly, Kurt heard a soft sob. Surprised he noticed how Puck's entire body was shaking. _

"_Shhhh, it's alright. I'm right here. I'm ok. You're ok. Shhhh" Rachel spoke to him with a soothing voice, stepping further between his legs, wrapping the arm not encased in the sling around his neck and pressing her face into his neck. Tenderly, Puck wrapped his arms around her, resting his head on her shoulder. _

"_God, Rach, I thought I'd lost you!" his body shook with the intensity of repressed emotions. Rachel simply repeated her words. "I'm not leaving you, it's alright. It's alright." After a few minutes, Puck seemed to calm down and they both simply rested, tangled with each other. Puck raised his head, and softly brushed a kiss across Rachel's lips. Letting his lips simply rest against hers for a few seconds, he drew back and leaned his forehead against hers._

"_Thanks. I needed that."  
"Me too." With a simultaneous sigh, Rachel stepped back and Puck withdrew his arms. He pressed one last kiss to her forehead. _

"_I'm never gonna betray you, Rach."_

"_I won't tell all your floozies about the time you called me in panic because of the bee in your apartment." She chortled. Puck grinned down at her and threw an arm around her shoulders. _

"_It wasn't a bee, Berry. It was a hornet. A matter of principle. I'm a Knicks-fan. That means, all other teams suck. Now, which team played us a few weeks ago in the play-offs and injured our point-guard? Right, the New Orleans hornets! Therefore, logically, it had to be killed!" He sounded back to his old self by the end of the explanation. _

"_Is that why you refused to eat my Cajun-cooking a few weeks ago?!?!?!" Puck's reply was cut off by the door closing. Kurt let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding. That was by far the hottest and most intimate thing he had ever seen. Quickly, he sprinted out the room, only to turn back after three steps to wash his hands. The Hummels might have been an all-male household, but still, manners were manners .While standing in front of the sink, he looked into the shattered mirror. With a sigh he strolled back to his desk. _

"Kurt? I asked if you were alright???" Mercedes touched his arm, pulling him out of his trance.

"Oh, what? Yeah, sure, why?"  
"Because you're all flustered and red in the face. . ."

"Must be the heat." He fanned himself. For the first time in their friendship, Kurt Hummel lied to Mercedes Jones.

3 a.m.

Rachel Berry's apartment

". . ._I wanna sex you up!" _

Detective 2nd Grade Rachel Barbara Berry shot up in her bed. Groping blindly for her cell on her nightstand, she managed to spy the time on her alarm clock.

"Uugh, Berry!" she answered, annoyed already. Who, oh who discovered a friggin' body at 3 in the fucking morning?!?!?

"_Berry! Oh, thank god. Listen, I need your help!"_

"Noah?!?!?!" She sat up straighter.

"What's wrong?"

"_Listen, can you come and get me? I'm at 240 3__rd__ street, Apartment 4b. You gotta park out back though, I'll drop down - - -"  
_

"Are you in a bathroom again. . ."

"_. . .maybe?"_

"Noah! I told you last time, I'm not doing this again! You have got to stop having intercourse with random women! When will you learn that those harlots are nothing but. . ."  
_"Berry, come on! Can you maybe lecture me another time?!?! Her husband's home, and the guy's gonna be pretty confused when his fucking bathroom's fucking locked when no one's s'posed to be in there!"_

"Well, you should have thought of that before engaging in extra-marital affairs with this. . .less than respectable lady!"

"_Yeah yeah, I get it! Berry, the guy's a friggin' lumberjack! A LUMBERJACK!!! That means he's got a fuckin' axe! And he knows how to fucking use it!!!"_

"Wait a second. . . wasn't Mrs. Lydell's husband a lumberjack? You remember, that witness from the Jones-case a few weeks ago? I remember because you asked how long he usually . . .NOAH!"

"…_yes?"_

"Please tell me you are not with Mrs Lydell right now? Please tell me you did not potentially risk our case because of your carnal needs?"

A pause.

"_Berry, it's not so much carnal. . . it's in my genes, I was born a stud. . ."_

"NOAH ELI PUCKERMAN! I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU WOULD JEOPARDIZE A CASE FOR SOMETHING AS TRIVIAL AS THAT!!!!WE BOTH WORKED OVERTIME FOR FOUR WEEKS TO CRACK THAT CASE!!! FOUR WEEKS!! AND IT ALL DEPENDS ON A KEY WITNESS, A KEY WITNESS WHO WILL BE A LOT LESS RELUCTANT TO TESTIFY WHEN YOU MERRILY PLAY HIDE THE SALAMI WITH HER SISTER!!!!!"

"_Say sex, Berry, it ain't gonna killa ya. . .!_

"ARGH!!! YOU ARE INCORRIGIBLE! THAT'S IT!!! GET YOURSELF OUT OF THAT MESS!!!"

"_Rachel, please! Rach, fuck! I gotta . . .CALM DOWN MAN!!! PUT DOWN. . .WHAT ARE YOU. . ." _

beep-beep-beep

With a sigh, Rachel got out of her bed, putting on her jeans and sweater.

The things she'd do for her partner.

Twenty minutes later, she slowly drove down 3rd Avenue, looking for a guy in a Mohawk. When she had finally spotted him, she pulled up beside him and honked her horn.

With a tired grin he limped towards her, sliding into the seat next to her after she reached over to open the door.

Her partner turned to her with a grim smile.

"Thanks, Rach." Rachel is about to chastise him again, when she sees his face.

"Oh my god, Noah!" The black eye and the cut over his eyebrow do nothing to enhance his face.

"Don't worry, Berry, I'll be fine. You should see the other guy!" He snorts, but because of his swollen nose it's more of a honking noise.

"Noah, you have to stop doing this! Never mind the atrocious moral implications your actions entail with regards to your character, you compromised hours and hours of work!"

"Berry. . ."

"No, Noah! I have had enough of your philandering ways! You run around with your pants unzipped, playing go-fish with every available female we come across, never even once thinking about what kind of consequences your behavior invariably results in!"

"Berry. . ."

She continued unabated.

"Your behavior disgusts me! It is not that you hurt feelings right and left and compromise otherwise probably not entirely unhappy marriages, it is that you not once spare a thought to anyone but yourself! You bolted from that place, leaving a distraught woman with her husband! You left a man, who thought he would come home to a loving wife, with nothing but anger and pain, because you felt the need to go ahead and take something that did not belong to you, but hey, you are Noah Puckerman, standards and morals are for the rest of the world!"

"RACHEL!" he shouted.

"WHAT!" she turned to him enraged, her dark eyes glinting.

"There's a Dunkin' Donuts, you think we can stop for a coffee?" he gave her an impish grin.

With a huff, she pulled over, feeling the urgent need to get some caffeine into her blood stream. In four hours she had to be in the precinct, there wasn't much point going to sleep again.

Wordlessly she got out of the car, leaving him sitting there. For the first time, he wondered if he had finally reached breaking point. Rachel had always been annoyed with his crap, had always lectured him, but lately it seemed as though she had lectured less and less. Compared to the first few times Rachel had had to pick him up, the tirade he had just received had been more than tame. Plus, she'd dialed down the volume and the vocab. Normally, he was looking for his dictionary right about now, trying to find out what part of his manhood she had cursed and with what type of woodland creature she had compared him this time.

And after a few seconds of letting her rant, he'd usually treat her to a coffee and a Donut, and they'd be cool again. This time, though, she seemed truly pissed off.

Scrambling after her, Puck narrowly avoided slamming head-first into the glass doors. Quickly spotting her standing in front of the counter and placing her order, he hastened to catch up to her.

"Rach, hey, Rach." He grabbed her shoulder and turned her around.

"What, Noah?" she asked tiredly.

"Rach, look. I know I'm not good with feelings n shit. . ." he scrubbed a hand down his neck.

"Thanks for coming to get me tonight." He looked sheepish. Rachel huffed.

"Whatever." She turned back to face the pimply teen who was stuck with the early shift.

Before she could pay, he dropped a twenty on the counter.

"Coffee's on me. . ." he trailed off. With a roll of her eyes, she grabbed her drink and looked for a booth to sit in.

"Lady trouble?" the teenager looked at him with a smug grin.

"do it like the birds and migrate, dipshit!" He snarled.

The teenager seemed unimpressed and frowned.

"Whatever, jackass, at least my girlfriend speaks to me!"

Aware of the fact that he had just lost an argument to a sixteen-year old fast-food employer, Puck left the scene.

Their breakfast was held in silence, with Rachel too pissed off and tired to say anything, and Puck too afraid to worsen an already crappy situation.

The silence held on all the way through Lunch, with the exception of Rachel politely asking Puck for the stapler. Their colleagues gave them a wide berth, all too aware of the tension between them and their tempers which rapidly grew shorter. It was only after Puck had made Tina cry and caused Artie to threaten to do truly unspeakable things with a wheelchair, and Rachel nearly broke Finn's nose during sparring, that Will interfered. Calling them into his office, he gave them exactly one hour to sort this out before they would be put on drunk-tank detail for a month.

Wordlessly, Puck grabbed Rachel's shoulder and pretty much dragged her down to the weight room.

Still silent, he threw a set of sparring gear at her and grabbed a larger one for himself.

Confused, she finally opened her mouth.

"What do you want me to do, Puck?" the use of the moniker stung. No matter how much he preferred it with the guys, for Rachel he had always been Noah.

He sighed.

"Put the gear on. You're pissed off at me, and we both know that I suck at talking and you suck at listening when you're pissed off. So, we're dealing with this another way. Put it on, kick my ass, and after you're done, we can talk." She looked at him for a few seconds, before she nodded.

Five minutes later, both returned to the matt, decked out with gloves, helmets, shorts and shirts proudly proclaiming NYPD.

"You ready?" he asked.

"Yeah." She said. A few seconds later he regretted ignoring that manic glint in her eyes as the air left his lungs with a grunt as he hit the matt. Rolling back and jumping back on his feet in one fluid motion, he welcomed her next few hits, only blocking a few.

A few floors above, their audience was less than happy with his tepid performance. After witnessing their exit from the boss' office, Mike had dutifully started the Puckleberry Beeper tree, name courtesy of Kurt. After a few months of Rachel's entrance to their little division, Kurt had noticed the sexual tension between the new partners and decided to do something about it. Hence, operation Beauty and the Beast was born (which was which depended on the tightness of Puck's shirt and Rachel's mood of the day). The Puckleberry Beeper tree was at the core of his operation. Whenever someone saw something going on, the beeper tree would inform everybody. It even had a code-system (sometimes Mike wondered what the hell Kurt did in his free-time. . .then again, he was probably better off not knowing).

Hence, two minutes after Puck and Rachel had left, the rest of the division was surrounding Kurt's desk. Tina had hacked into the surveillance equipment of the gym and all of them were watching the "show-down of giants" as Mike had decided to call it.

"Ok, ten bucks on Puckerman!" Mike said.

"Naaa, ten on Rachel. She's pretty angry!" Kurt voiced his opinion, casting a critical eye on his laptop screen.  
"But Puck's got, like, a hundred pounds on her!" Matt exclaimed.

"So? She's got that crazy vibe going! I'm with Kurt, ten on Rachel." Quinn nodded decisively.

"I agree, she has a black-belt in Karate, plus she used to be the state kick-box champion on College." Collective silence met Finn's statement. Quinn glared daggers at her boyfriend.

"What?!?! She nearly broke my nose! I had to ask!" Pacified, Quinn placed a kiss on his head.

"Guys, something's happening!" Tina intervened. Simultaneously they returned to the screen to see Rachel and Puck talking animatedly.

"Come on, Puck! Start fighting!" Rachel danced around him.

"I am!"

"Don't give me that bullshit, Puckerman! Do me a favor, at least try to do something productive!"

"But Rach---"  
"Don't But Rach me! Do something!" She continued with a light series of jabs he half-heartedly blocked. Finally fed up with his excuse of a defense, she stopped pulling punches, threw a quick combination his way and used his distraction to swipe his feet from under him.

For the second time in as many minutes Puck found himself flat on his back.

"You know, that whole relieve your anger thing? Doesn't really work, you are simply pissing me off even more!"

With a grunt he pushed himself back up.

"What, you scared? Come on, Puck, everything else seems so easy!" she taunted him. When she began clucking like a chicken, he finally lost it. Without further ado, he switched to fight-mode and began throwing a few punches at her.

"Finally!" she exclaimed.

For the next 30 minutes, they traded punches and kicks. Despite Puck's superior size, they were evenly matched due to Rachel's experience. Both were feeling the strain on their muscles and had to breathe hard, yet neither was willing to yield.

Upstairs, the crowd had increased to include most beat-cops, a few people coming early for the night-shift, most of the IT-department, a few of Puck's old narco-buddies and even Suzie Pepper, who usually would never do anything that could potentially earn Will's disapproval. The betting pool had grown considerably, just reaching 200 Dollars. Kurt was working as the bookie, while Mike and Matt had taken up a live-commentary of the fight.

It took another fifteen minutes for a decision to come. Trying to avoid Rachel's uppercut, Puck took a step backwards, but stumbled slightly. His preoccupation cost him dearly, as Rachel hooked her foot around his ankle, and easily pulled him down, quickly applying a choke-hold.

"You calling Uncle, Noah?" She asked with mirth. Puck had to grin. Noah was back!

Using his weight as a lever, he flipped them around, breaking out of her chokehold. He was aware, that if Rachel had wanted to keep him down, she could have. With a smirk, he kneeled on her wrists, took off his helmet and shucked off his gloves. Making quick work of her helmet as well, he saw the saucy smirk on her face. Before Puck could ask, she bucked her hips and wrapped her legs around his torso, pulling him down, and shimmying herself back up. He cursed her dance-training and her flexibility. As she effectively had their positions reversed, she grinned down at him.

"Honestly, Noah? Not very impressive." He gave her a warm smile. Slowly, Puck raised his head, until their lips were inches apart. His eyes held Rachel's gaze. Her dark brown eyes locked with his penetrating green orbs and the air around them seemed to crackle with electricity. They came closer. . .closer. . .closer. . .

Their audience leaned closer to the screen. . .

"Gotcha!" Puck flipped them around quickly, pinning Rachel to the matt. Pressing a kiss to her forehead, he rolled off her.

Both were lying on their backs next to each other, breathing heavily, from a heady mix of sports and arousal.

"I'm sorry, Rach." He said softly.

"I screwed up. I never should have called you and woken you up. I had no right pulling you into my shit. And I apologize."

"Noah ---"

"No, Rach. Don't try it. I'm sorry. I'll try and stop doing that shit."

A few more beats of silence.

"I'm sorry, too. Naturally I am not exactly ecstatic about being your accomplice in your philandering ways, but I suppose I have overreacted slightly. It's just. . ." she sighed. "why is it that you always seem to have at least semi-successful relationships, and I am being stood-up constantly?" He caught the depressive tone of her voice.

"Bad date last night?"

She snorted.

"Depends. . .I am fairly certain he enjoyed himself. . .as did the blonde, buxom waitress with whom he departed after leaving me with the cheque."

"The fuck? Why'd you go out with a douchebag like that?" at the last minute he toned down his language. . .at least somewhat.

Rachel sighed.

"I met him a few months ago through mutual acquaintances. He was charming, nice, polite, well-spoken. . .exactly what I want in a man. . .at first I refused nonetheless, then it seemed our conflicting schedules were keeping us apart. Last night we finally managed to meet again, the conversation was stimulating, I thought the areas of mutual interest were big enough. . .turns out, my areas were not. He went to the toilet and I saw him leaving with our waitress after fifteen minutes." She sounded dejected. Puck felt anger well up at the thought of someone ditching Rachel.

"So it did not exactly improve my mood imagining you compromising the virtue of some poor woman who had finally managed to find happiness."  
"You honestly think she'd have agreed to have a drink with me if she had been happy?"

". . .no. . .but still, at least she had someone. And I could not help but wonder whether I will always have someone. There has to be a nice, polite and intelligent male out there who is neither gay, nor taken, right?" she sounded frustrated.

With a grunt, Puck pushed himself up before pulling her to her feet as well.

"Y'know Rach, that guy from last night is an ass. It's his fucking problem, if he can't see what he's got with you." He slung an easy arm over her shoulder while leading her towards the locker room.

She couldn't help but warmly smile up at him. Maybe nice and polite was overrated . . .

_Wow, that was one helluva one-shot. . .next one's gonna take some time!_

_Any ideas are always welcome, I'll try and do them justice ^^_


	4. Chapter 4

_Yeah, I know, super short, but I got the idea a few months ago from sb (I've forgotten the name, it's been a long time, but thx anyways). I was pretty swamped with uni lately, haven't had time to work on anything cept the stuff I have to work on to get a job…_

_Anyway, hope y'all enjoy,_

_Disclaimer: Nothing's mine_

„_!"_ Puck's long-drawn whine, repeated every two or three minutes was starting to grate on her nerves.

With a sigh, she acknowledged him.  
"Yes, Noah?"

"it's _itchyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy_!"

"Stop complaining! We have to do this!"

"But whyyyyyyyyyy!"

"because, to repeat it yet another time, these were the only possible options left."

"But whyyyyyyyyy!" he needled with a grin.

"Because, somebody decided that being there on time when the assignments were given out was for and I quote, 'pussies'. So stop complaining."

"Come on, Rach! That girl last night might have actually been the one! She was tall, nice, funny. . .we had a connection! It was like, deep 'n shit! I couldn't miss out on the one now, could I. . ." He gave her his most charming grin.

With a roll of her eyes, Rachel thanked heavens that she had built up some immunity to his charms over the years.

"Well, what was her name?"

"Uuuuh. . ."

"Thought so."

"I still don't get why I had to wear this one!" He looked down at his costume pathetically.

"Because, Mike and Matt are on the inside, Kurt and Finn are on tech-detail, and you and I have to do surveillance. And these were the only jobs they had free." She glowered at him.

"Ok, so I'm sorry about this. I'll make it up to you. How 'bout I take Lunch today?"  
"It's your turn anyways, hence you would be making up nothing, merely exploiting a pre-arranged agreement as a way to alleviate your guilt and my mood."

"Ok, ok. Geez, you sound like my old English teacher. Woman was crazy, always using big words. Can't you speak normal for once?"

"I refuse to apologize for my verbosity, it is important to illustrate one's point as accurately as possible to avoid eventual misunderstandings! I'll have you know that based on this very feature of my character I was offered junior partner with Sylvester, Tanaka and Ben-Israel right out of law school!"  
"Yey, more time with the Nazi, the asshole and the creep. . .that's certainly something to be proud of Berry!"

"God, why do I even bother engaging in any type of conversation with you?!?! It should by now be evident that intelligent and stimulating conversation is not possible!"

"I can stimulate you just fine, babe!" he growled huskily.

"In your dreams, Puckerman!" she huffed.

"In my dreams it's usually you stimulating my ---"  
"Noah!"

"_Uuuh, guys, you know those intercom-thingies in your ears? They work with all of us. . ." _Finn's amused voice reverberated in their ears.

"Bugger off, Hudson. This is private talk between me and my little woman!" Puck growled.

"PUCKERMAN! YOU DID NOT JUST REFER TO ME AS YOUR LITTLE WOMAN! I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW I'M YOUR PARTNER, EQUAL PARTNER; I MIGHT ADD! I AM A BETTER SHOT THAN YOU; I CAN TAKE YOU IN A SPARRING MATCH AND JUST LAST WEEK I KICKED YOUR ASS IN GUITAR HERO! NOW GET YOUR MYSOGINISTIC ASS IN LINE AND START BEHAVING LIKE AN ACTUAL HUMAN BEING, YOU THOUGHTLESS NEANDERTHAL!"

Puck frowned, both at the volume of Rachel's tirade directly in his ear, and at the varying degrees of amusement displayed by his colleagues. He distinctly heard Quinn and Tina giggling, while Finn chuckled and Kurt merrily chortled in his ear.

"Calm down, Rach! Don't get your panties in a twist. . ." he smirked. "Unless of course you want me to untwist them" he wiggled his eyebrows.

"God, Noah! I suggest you shut up, we actually have a job to do!"

"_Yes"_ came Kurt's amused input. _"keep your eyes __peeled!__" _

"Watch it, Beyoncè! Now I might be stuck on a street corner, but sooner or later we're gonna be in the same room again!"

"_Come on, Puck! No need to go all bananas!" _ Finn was so dead after this.

Rachel smiled widely.

"_Hey Rachel!"_

"Yes Kurt?"

"_Why did the banana go out with a prune?"_

"I don't know…"

"_Because it couldn't find a date!"_ Rachel snorted. Puck glowered at her.

"Come on, it was funny!" she tried to appease her partner.

"Besides, it's your fault! You're the one who was late!" He growled and returned to watching the entrance to Apartment complex on the other side.

"Alright, alright! I apologize, AGAIN! Christ's sake woman. How 'bout dinner, you and me, that Italian place you like so much, movie afterwards, your choice?" he gave her a hopeful smile.

"_Aaaw, Puck's gone all mushy on us!"_

"_Throw him out when he gets brown spots, Rachel!"_

"Hey, laurel, Hardy, can the 'tude or I'll turn you guys to mush!"

"_Sheesh, fine, no need to jump out of your skin!" _By now Quinn was outright laughing.

"Honestly, how come you keep making fun of _me _when Berry here looks like her friggin' name!" He exclaimed angrily.

"_Because, Puck, Rachel's probably heard all of them already! You on the other hand are way too much fun to annoy!"_

"Screw you, Hummel!"

"_Well, I didn't know you swung that way, but if you're propositioning to me, I have to say, tempting, but no thanks, I'm a one-fruit man, even though I must say that outfit does wonders for your Peel, uh, appeal I mean!"_

"Raaacheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel!"

"Yes Noah?"

"Kurt's being mean to me!"

". . .and you expect me to do what exactly?"

"I dunno, talk him to death, works with me, usually!"

"You do realize insulting me will not make me more likely to help you. If that's the way you go about your relationships, I am no longer surprised at their short durations."

"Berry, seriously, I---"  
_"Suspect is leaving the building, repeat, suspect is leaving!" _Mike's frantic calls interrupted any retort.

Puck easily spotted the figure climbing down the fire escape.

"We're on it! Rach, let's go!" Without further ado, the two detectives began sprinting across the street and towards the small back-alley. Seeing them advancing, their mark first looked confused, before turning and running in the opposite direction.  
"Go the other way!" Puck shouted. Rachel broke off to the left to cut off possible escape routes.

Tearing through the alleyways behind the building, it took them far longer than usual to catch up with their suspect. Nonetheless, after Puck managed to herd the guy around a corner, Rachel tackled him easily to the ground, before rolling off.

"Good job, guys!" came Finn's voice from behind them. Turning around they spotted Finn, flanked by Matt and Mike.

With a grunt, Puck shoved their suspect into the waiting arms of the wonder twins.

"Here, take him. We're off to Breakfast." Puck said.

"Let's go, Berry." He threw an arm over her shoulder and led her away from the scene.

With a grin, Finn raised his phone and snapped a quick picture.

A large yellow banana had an arm around the shoulders of a short, round strawberry, with slightly scuffed seeds and an askew green-red cap, walking into the sunset.


End file.
